Losing my religion was not something that happened overnight. It was a slow and gradual fade away from something I’m not sure I ever truly believed in in the first place. And as hard as it’s been to be rejected by friends and family members because of this change… yesterday was the truly the first time my heart has ached and yearned for the ease of religion since leaving the church and admitting myself as a non believer.
Because when you’re religious it’s just so damn EASY to throw up your hands and say things like “no matter who is in the White House Jesus is LORD” and “Oh, well my candidate didn’t win but I believe God is in control!” Oh how I wish it was that simple, so painless. I can’t deny there is a part of me that desires that kind of surrender of responsibility.
But the thing is, it isn’t that easy. And I just don’t believe there is any over arching loving diety in control. And if there is, by the way, then I have some serious complaints to file. I have friends who are literally afraid to live in the United States; because our president elect’s campaign has given power to fear and prejudice. I have an ethical duty to be a voice for the voiceless to stand up for those who cannot. I can’t, I won’t simply put my faith in a magical man in the sky to make everything better for the marginalized. It hasn’t worked so far.
My heart is hurting. But as my friend Kim wrote on her blog today. I’m ready to slow my tears, lock arms, and stand up for what I believe in. I am an ally, I am an activist, I am ready to fight, I am ready to do the work my damn self.